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Even in Absence

by Monte Pride

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1.
I lost you as you lost your home Silver as the river’s bend along Alone under August blush A wind swept elm was quite enough To keep it all strung on shattered glass If I had known the night had fallen Like silver stars to an artist's daughter Waiting for the wane to carry on I wouldn’t have held fast to any It all worn gold in anxious worry To fade with a wick lit in song Take this cosmic tourniquet And wrap it all in forgotten bliss Remember all that brought you along Sing to me as soft as Autumn A shield again for all that’s calling Me, from the love I nearly lost The darkness slept through the Summer To the week before September’s ember Set it all behind, as did I But I couldn’t help a heart collapsing Caught between a sunflower spinning Oak in queen annes to goldenrod Take this time in lonesome dives To the churning river for lighting eyes To balance all I hoped to find Swing it low and remember the evenings The beautiful times I feel I’m losing Never once I felt alone Oh no We may refrain from staying the same A change as thankless as falling rain But I won’t mind the flood to come As we’re all forever surrounded The river bank bursting in love and laughter Stronger with all that’s passed on
2.
The clouds may rest As your mind won’t let you With mine the same Awake as I craned As the robin did Through your window pane From blind to flying In warmth to keep sane I watched the dogwood blossom overnight A stubborn snowbank melt A shadow fed sunlight To whisper the forest awake in the morning A soul reclaimed, revived today Please listen close Your conscious glow, it saves Even in absence A neglected rose Shielded from the cadence A stemmed thorn grown In the beating of their wings The churn of the river A rain song remembered A sacrilege lifted From bane to beauty In this sleepwalking writer The wisest listener, tied forever We grew under stars in a Wardcliff refuge Both on the border, down 43 and over With it all forgiving Even in the darkest When night had fallen softly Gone wrong in silence With all we’ve learned, speaking now To bring a better end A love so loud Even in the ebb, the flow of going I pine, I strive to mend the losing To know we won’t Be parting then Even in the changing The fraying thread In the almost lost A sentiment sought A golden friend
3.
Never run fast as those still ahead You’ll only feel calloused again and again In thoughts that escape me I wonder where they go Just walking the conifers, the evergreens, and reaching firs Maybe on a lake all alone Never keep time with those still counting The wins and the losses Doubled in sewing My second is writing, unrelating, and stopping I can’t seem to catch it In resolve so winded In glory, in absence of you You can only smile back so many times With how are you answered often with a lie I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m always fine In all toxic strength, in frailty’s guise We’ll hide all we’ve cried I may be running home But there’s so much I forgot The weathervane's whisper through thistle to a stop In pines, in dogwoods, an aviary’s thought The tree frogs murmur, the light reassuring Sifting out the worry and gone Never run fast as those still ahead Maybe I’ll make it back home to my bed If I don’t, I don’t, maybe I won’t But I’ll carve out the highway In traveling retrograde Back to your arms to show I no longer care about those still ahead Because they are, I am I finally rest If I make it home, I’ll make it there alone With so much love, so much love, so much love to grow
4.
Tired old river It’s dragging me down I couldn’t get my feet back on solid ground I thought I was young, and able, and sound But I’m falling to the bottom of the Grand to drown I made it to the capital and the smokestacks three Choking down mud from headwaters to me Made it to the ladder, hellbent on the silence Heard the robin’s song and sunk down into panic As I was inching away, and my home was stripped The moon drew the river down to count me blessed I made it to the Rapids, kept my head above the surface I prayed to the city to release my burden To kiss my flushing cheek, those puckered lips Gasping for air and treading below the bliss Of citizens and businessmen laughing at my fortune It’s better than yours, hold on for the morning I made it to a Haven with my hands a-shaking Washed up on the beach next to your white shroud Looked out on the hope the lake creates I guess it ain’t my time to drown I was running from nothing, I was killing time I thought I’d soak my fear and let compulsion dry The water it soothed me, I can no longer cry I’ll stay by the lake till the day I die That day came sooner, it slipped my mind I was caught up in the current, the magpie’s sigh They circled me and picked me, up from my place Dropped me in the sand and remembered my face As I recalled all I forgot to show As my pulse it slowed, consciousness bowed Down to the shore with your stolen grace And all they meant to misplace without a trace These days we rest in peace so sweet My ghost lays silent huddled on the beach Sure it’s lonely, but it ain’t that bad The waves wash memory right over my head As I tread so slow in bittersweet debt With it all unwritten locked up in my head With it all unwritten locked up in my head Tired old river It dragged me down I couldn’t get my feet back on solid ground I thought I was young, and able, and sound But I’ve fallen to the bottom of the Grand to drown
5.
I smell citronella, and sunscreen, and chlorine An endorphin waning, a waving daydream With Superior sights, and sleepless nights, and mornings Spent counting thoughts, and northern lights, and islands I need smoke still rising, the charring oak and ember Sand so tender With cool surface dew, a fogged out glass surrender Sing with me now if you call this place your home Apple blossomed fields, they’re all I know Just weaving and winding Driving north on two lane roads Michigan, can I call this place my home? I hope this makes its way to you before the winter Bundled and warm, just making sure to remember When what we had was counted in stones and lilacs I heard a robins call, yesterday in the morning I felt the Spring turning, a budding dogwood calling Me out to the dunes, the views, and you Sing with me now if you call this place your home Apple blossomed fields, they’re all I know Just weaving and winding Driving north on two lane roads Michigan, can I call this place my home?
6.
You saw me out the window, wading through deep snow In the frozen yard, of your warm home I let go of summer, succumbed to winter in Christmas lights And the icicle, salt truck, slushy streets, and new luck that I hoped to find It blossomed in arriving, finding where you left me Nestled in the snowbank waiting Where grass still greened in sunlight shining Dug from a tomb of deteriorated ruin, of July Where you healed me to keep me, even when my touch was drifting You helped me stand Well before we knew A heart carved in the Pictured Rock When the lighting of the year turned your hair an auburn spark It’s reveling, it’s turning, in belief I feel it's mending All I was enchanting, and dreaming, thoughts shifting It all led to this, today’s endless bliss In a midwestern summer, a meant to happen lover A fate strewn, soon to be kiss You were caught in my vision, and I can’t forget the listening To tree frogs and cicadas waiting, the river slowed and pines were circling Round in our scheme, and all we’d yet to see, in the western range With a big sky and sunsets pinned by glaciers where trails won’t end They’re gold to you Well before we knew A sun cast dune laid like a Sleeping Bear A blue brighter than eyes on the shore where they stare Right out to a day all afloat in laughter shared A pyramid point, a friendship coined, a day broken open with love to bear
7.
Josie's on the Buffalo Plains Fell in love with taking his day in his hands He couldn't stay, he's a roamin' man In this town no more With a world class tangle of under beard Coffee brown eyes and a practiced sneer He’ll hug you tight if you get too near He's a good ol' friend of mine He's a good ol' friend of mine He left his life a little at a time He's a good ol' friend of mine Donald had some wild years Whiskey in his eyes, tears in his beers Woke up one day, looked in the mirror To the stare of a stranger man With a steady hand and a shaky voice He gave up drinking, said he didn’t have a choice Got married in a barn, had a couple of boys He's a good ol' friend of mine He's a good ol' friend of mine He built his life one board at a time He's a good ol' friend of mine Annie probably knew I'd break her heart I was sincere and crazy, from the start We were thick and thin, drifted apart Hanging up the telephone line She’s got a laugh that hits you right in the chest She's a spring born baby, Queen of the West We’ve been through hell, you know the rest She's a good ol' friend of mine She's a good ol' friend of mine We spent a couple years lost in the pines She's a good ol' friend of mine Oh, when it changes In the middle of the night Your friends have not left you They’ve just taken flight Taken flight Taken flight
8.
Echo 04:43
My voice was caught in the stairway's echo My thoughts were caught back home Stratified Canonized Alone, with a ghost Of a lover, an ancient sufferer I’ve fallen from place too soon But traffic won’t stop And mortar won’t halt And the brick that we built would fall With the snowflakes That drift through your head That soaked your midwestern skin again As I ran a circle, and prayed for April I’m frozen, and I’m giving in To when I did no wrong And ivy stopped scribing up your crooked walls When propane stung And my heart was rung In knowing this is what I’d become I’m longing to leave you alone I’m longing to leave you alone But I can’t bear to leave you And I can only see you Under a salamander’s moon Tell me what brought the bottles to breaking There are shards in my soles, and sorrow ain’t shaking But breath condensed And thoughts sublimed With my windows fogged from the time The creek ran dry We carved our initials with a knife In the quartz on your dresser Shining in amber The sunlight expelled my mind To the dread of the huddling winter Your pipes frozen solid and your lakes grown splintered In the ice, and the pressure of the ruptured water In a 70 degree November I waited, I can’t say for what I was caught in retrograde’s clutch We were piled in leaves I could barely breathe With you there next to me I’m longing to leave you alone I’m longing to leave you alone But I can’t bear to leave you And I can only see you Under a salamander's moon
9.
Sparrow 03:12
Sparrow, Sparrow Oh, where have you gone? Were you caught, snared away at dusk till dawn? Did you wake to find the thistle strand lost To hide away in moonlight, in unfamiliar song? Did you try to follow up the cold muddy river? Were you thrown by the flood, a wake unforgiving? Knowing you didn’t have to stray so far Searching for the life you knew well before dark? Did you do your best to tend to your nest Only to meet the claw, the north winds relent? If only I could shield you as I wish As the branches, the twigs, that held you in their grip Did you see me floating along below From Lansing to the Lake, between unknowns? The depths and the heavens, wherever I end Where I roam, alone, to compose a letter sent If only I could have borrowed your wings For a day, for a night, to see another spring I know you can’t rest, you must push on That Tired Old River will drown me before long Maybe you heard of a finer place One without the worry to shed the winter’s weight I can’t say I blame you But I’ll stay just the same To wait on your return when Summer comes again Sparrow, Sparrow Oh, where have you gone? Your reflection, your feather, your song, your letter Your light kept on Will never be lost
10.
From a seed to a sprout A stem without a sound Like a blossom nurtured in time We’ll survive Even In Absence The dimming light flying We’ll hold on hope In love worth everything We’ll press on together Remember our neighbor Empathy unassuming In selfless giving From a seed to a sprout A stem without a sound Like a blossom nurtured in time We’ll survive Though we may be parting It all ever changing I’ll look to you When birds stop their singing I’ll carry it with me Stay well considering ‘Cause I’ve you And you’ve me To get through And help each other be From a seed to a sprout A stem without a sound Like a blossom nurtured in time We’ll survive By the memory A bliss built in family In blood, in bond Humanity’s song In all that let this love live on From a seed to a sprout A stem without a sound Like a blossom nurtured in time We’ll survive

about

Recorded at La Luna Recording & Sound with Ian Gorman, Big Sky Recording with Elan Dantus, Third Coast Recording with Joe Hettinga, Kevin Kozel, and Carter Cluckett, Troubadour Studio with Jon Herrmann, and Fort Worth Sound with Tanner Landry.

Mixed and Mastered at La Luna Recording & Sound by Ian Gorman.

Produced by Monte Pride, Ian Gorman, and Timothy Monger.

Monte Pride - vocals, acoustic and electric guitar
Max Lockwood - upright and Electric Bass
Benjy Joung - Cello
Samantha Cooper - Violin, Vocals
Laurel Premo - Violin, Banjo
Mark Lavengood - Dobro
Lily Talmers - Vocals
Bethany Turner-Foote - Piano
Brandon Foote - Electric Guitar
Drew Howard - Pedal Steel

All songs written by Monte Pride (ASCAP), except “Queen of the West, and Other Stories” by Michael Beauchamp-Cohen (BMI), Laurel Premo (BMI).

Album photography & embroidery by Shaina Mahler. Graphic design by Eric Patrick Kelly.

All rights reserved, © ℗ Monte Pride 2020. Hawthorne Morning Records. MP02.

credits

released August 21, 2020

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Monte Pride Meridian Charter Township, Michigan

Monte Pride is a Michigan-born and based singer-songwriter and fingerstyle guitarist whose music recalls the delicate vocals of Simon & Garfunkel, with guitar-work reminiscent of The Tallest Man On Earth and early Joni Mitchell. Paired with electric, ambient soundscapes, he blends haunting melodies with vivid lyricism to create lush, experimental folk songs. ... more

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